“The longer you deal with chronic illness & disability - the more people disappear from your life.
Each Christmas that’s passed since I became severe, I find myself receiving less holiday cards, texts, calls & emails. I’m painfully aware that most have forgotten me.”
This is a quote from my Chronic Illness Christmas article where I discuss guilt, gaslighting and how to cope with being sick at the holidays.
When I was writing it I found myself reflecting over the last few years. I noticed even those I tried to stay in touch with slipping away
It’s hard to keep making the effort over and over - especially when you’re sick and dealing with an energy limiting condition.
Add in covid caution and it becomes even more challenging because even if someone can “get past” your illness… your covid awareness challenges them
As I wrote the words I had a sinking pit in my stomach that this would be the year I was almost entirely forgotten.
The reason? My advocacy.
The more outspoken I’ve become about public health, Covid and disability rights… the more people have pulled away.
When I launched The Disabled Ginger I found most people who had known me “in real life” didn’t want to read it. They werent excited for me.
The support I received was here. Within my online community - who’ve been amazing every step of the way
Christmas morning arrives and I was correct - I only heard from two friends - both having their first chronic illness Christmas this year.
The ones who still have their health? They’ve vanished. Just as I predicted.
Why is that?
We know people disappear when we become chronically ill - I’ve spoken about it at great length over the years.
But there’s more to it this year. I’ve been disabled for many years and until I began advocating MOST stayed in touch.
It’s almost as though my finding my voice and talking about these issues on a regular basis was the final straw.
They were willing to tolerate my sickness. Accept that I couldn’t socialize or get out of bed. Stay in semi-regular contact
What they weren’t willing to tolerate was a constant reminder of ableism and all the ways in which it harms us. Of Covid and the fact that it’s not over.
They didn’t want to face the brutal reality of my day to day life which I opted to stop hiding and advocating
There’s been times I’ve been tempted to quit. To give in and go back to plastering a smile and saying “I’m fine”
I faked it for years - I certainly know how.
But then I think of all the people STILL being forced to hide. Made to fake it for the comfort of others
I think about all the people who are about to become chronically ill because of public health and government failure to mitigate COVID.
People who believed the lie that it was not a threat and who are about to find out the hard way just how little help there is for us
I think about the people who read my words and send messages telling me that I encapsulated what they’re dealing with and it brought them comfort.
Those messages - knowing that my words are reaching even one person - make it worthwhile.
Never forget that those who leave you behind are not worth your tears. One day they too will end up sick … and they may wish they had behaved differently.
Your value is not tied to your health. Advocacy and Covid caution are admirable even if others can’t see it
Hang in there. Hold the line. Keep the faith that there will be better days to come.
If you’re someone who’s left a person behind - please know your choice hurt them. Consider reaching out and telling them they’re loved. It could mean everything to someone.
To all those dealing with chronic illness, isolated due to COVID and/or trying to support a loved one through a chronic illness Christmas - this article is for you
It’s for all of us who’ve been left behind. Who’ve had to establish new traditions & find joy in the darkest of times
You’re not alone.
https://www.disabledginger.com/p/a-chronic-illness-christmas
the HEPA and elasto 
suffice. I'd rather have more layers of 
swiss cheese 
hope ocular protection 
isn't needed for whatever this is
Here’s the link to the mask deal btw: 
